Trust

As I alluded to in my last post, our lives are beginning to move towards huge life-changing things. What a relief it is for me that some of the waiting for unknown things is over.

We have made one decision, after much prayer and counsel from people who love us and pray for us. Now we wait. Again.

As we wait, we will move ahead bold and confident.

He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through. (Crazy Love by Francis Chan, p. 124)

Funny that fear is often what hinders complete trust. And as I'm learning, it's a moment by moment thing.

Yes, He has shown us where He wants us to walk today. And He promises He will be with us. Still, I (as most of us do) struggle with acting in fear instead of trust. Not having a "plan B" in case God doesn't come through.

Then, as I was trying to figure out why I felt I needed a plan B to begin with (at least in this situation), I read this:

People who are obsessed with Jesus aren't consumed with their personal safety and comfort above all else. Obsessed people care more about God's kingdom coming to this earth than their own lives being shielded from pain or distress. (Chan, 133).

Wow. I know that I have a ways to grow in this. And while I won't be looking for pain or distress, I need to trust that God will do what is necessary in my life to make me more like Him, not necessarily to shield me from hard things.

Trusting. It's a hard thing. It's a matter of obedience. A matter of setting my face like flint.

But not trusting, that's certain failure, destruction, and disobedience.

I am so thankful for a God who gives us grace when we fail, and the strength to rise again as we learn to trust Him completely.

Change

What a word. It's 2011 and still January. This year looks to be a year of many changes for us. 2011. The year of change.

I'm looking forward to when the changes actually are in motion. For me, it's the waiting that's hard. The holding your breath while hoping and trusting. The not knowing for sure. The quiet place where you're wondering what it is you're listening for. The moments where you know that what God's doing in you is greater than you can see at the time.

He will answer.

Spring will come.

And in the process, I'll grow closer to Him.

That's the whole point, when it's all said and done. Not the actual decisions or details, but that He is using them as tools to draw me nearer. To make me into someone who looks more like Him than I did before.

Where You go, I'll go; where You stay, I'll stay; when You move, I'll move. I will follow....I will trust in You alone.

That's the cry of my heart. Where I want to be, even when I'm not quite there yet. And my prayer of faith.

Oh the peace that comes with surrender.