Counting the Cost

So in these final 53 days before finishing up our time of service with our local body of believers here in NE Ohio, I've been thinking a lot about the transition, trying to process things as they come day by day and to live in the moment as much as possible.  I don't want to get to Germany in  97 days and think, wow, I wish I would have enjoyed the time of transition more.


It's a hard thing.  Much of my time processing has been spent counting the cost.  Realizing that there are things I knew I'd give up, but being surprised by things I didn't consider "losses", and having to decide in those moments to give them up.  It is truly a bittersweet time.  We have enjoyed (and are enjoying still) the high moments of reveling in friendships God has given us during our time here, and we are also slowly letting go of things that have to come to an end at this place in our lives in order for us to move on in a healthy way.

I was reading from Beth Moore's devotional book, Voices of the Faithful, and today was about Counting the Cost. Very appropriate.  You may be thinking, didn't they already count the cost before they signed up to go to Germany?  Well, yes, we did, but we're now in the place of  living out that counted cost.  Walking in the sacrifice we have made, and gratefully not alone, we are doing our best to follow one step behind Jesus.

There are the obvious losses of giving up being close to family, not being able to watch precious nieces grow up and attend their birthday parties and family holidays.  These things are made a little bit more bearable by Skype and other technology, but they are still heart-wrenching when it comes down to it.

There are the losses of familiarity.  The anticipation of losing the ability to do the "normal" things we do everyday, like getting from home to work (or soon--language school), losing the ability to communicate (at least temporarily while we learn German), losing the familiar smells & sounds of the seasons  (which I'm acutely aware of as Fall has begun and the leaves are beginning to turn beautiful shades of red, orange and yellow, and smells like apple cider, pumpkin pie, and carmel--this may sound weird, but often holidays and seasons "smell" differently in other countries).  Loss of being able to just call someone without calculating what time it would be where they are and having to do an elaborate coordination of when we can set a time to catch up.  I could go on.

Then there are the unexpected losses.  The ones that pop up every now and then and catch us off guard.  The losses of realizing that when we stand and sing surrounded by about 1000 other believers on a given Sunday morning, that it's going to be a long 4 years before we have that kind of opportunity again.  Realizing that not only is it a question of number of believers gathered, but also the very fact that we are able to worship in our heart-language of English.

Our coming reality is such that it will take a while before we are able to even sing in German and be able to understand the words.  And most often in those beginning days, it will seem more of an exercise in language learning for a while instead of a deep heart-felt expression of love for our Savior.   As one international worker recently encouraged us, he also prayed that God would sustain us in the "lean" years we have ahead.  He and his family also served in Europe and know full well the lack of abundance of all things spiritual.   We know we will need to be "self-feeding" during our time overseas, and we have had that habit for years, but it has been easy in a place where we are encouraged weekly, if not several times during the week.  And all of this taking place in an environment that is not yet hostile to the Gospel.

While there is much more in the way of cost, namely personal sacrifice, I must say, that it is worth it.  We would have it no other way.   Because Jesus is worth it.

When the unexpected things that we encounter come up--which we will need to sacrifice in order to follow Jesus, my hope is that Jesus always wins out.  That in light of Who He is and how small the sacrifice is in comparison, that Jesus will find our surrender a pleasing act of worship, far greater than singing songs or doing other spiritual activities.

What are you willing to give up?